Is Therapeutic Coaching Right For Me?

Coaches are certified, therapists are licensed. Therapists work in depth with PTSD, CPTSD, other psychological challenges like bi polar, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, OCD, and conditions inaccurately labelled as personality disorders like borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder (I am using these terms solely to make my scope of practice clear. I do no ascribe to pathologising people this way when these are usually manifestations of early developmental challenges).

Coaches tend to be specialised and trained in specific areas; in my case PPD/TMS/neuro immune conditions and associated challenges needing support with personality parts, harnessing neuroplastic change, new skills, nervous system support, psychoeducation and plenty of support to put practices into action over time. I am deeply trauma informed due to my psychotherapy and subsequent training background but I do not provide long term trauma therapy. I work with about 70% of my clients without an additional therapist and I refer the rest for additional therapeutic support who co work alongside me as a supportive team. If I do cross refer, it is not because I do not want to work with you. It is because I recognise areas that need additional support and that without this I cannot continue working with you safely.

Coaches generally work with clients for shorter periods of time. In my work this is usually 12 - 36 months (I am happy to then have longer term sessions as I often mentor people in their next career and life steps post illness). Therapists can work with clients for many years because the therapeutic alliance is the primary agent of change. Often therapists are focused on wider life themes, past and present, and repairing attachment relational dynamics, while coaches are future-oriented, skills based, and coaching to help people become their own best guide.

Therapy sessions vary depending on the needs of the client and the type of therapy that the therapist practices. Working with a coach is therapeutic in itself but does not have the scope of longer term therapy; especially phase oriented trauma therapy (which is stabilisation, processing, finding new meaning) or attachment based therapy. I often refer people for sensorimotor and attachment based therapy (NARM, somatic touch work, and sometimes attachment based EMDR). It can take a few therapists before someone finds a decent fit. The imperfect nature of the person we work with compared to an idea of the perfect support we (often our younger parts) want, is often part of therapy in order to grieve and heal our childhood unmet needs, and this emerges in the therapeutic relationship over time, which is why commitment to that process can be important.

The relationship and quality of attachment relationship between coach and client is still absolutely pivotal but there will not be the depth of attachment trauma repair that will occur in attachment based therapy. I chose to leave psychotherapy as this is not the work I am called to. I am very comfortable co working with therapists and very often do. This is a really successful alliance as people do not need to see me often to make it affordable and be very impactful, and it means they have much deserved layers of support. No one practitioner can have everything, so it makes sense to diversify support when needed.

Both therapists and coaches ask their clients questions and collaborate. Coaches ask more questions that will lead to an efficacy oriented and/or future-oriented answer and helping clients grow confidence in their skills, daily life, and handling new things in new ways - which are all crucial in healing these conditions and I believe more effective than most therapy in doing so. Both therapy and coaching can include goal-setting in their practices. Coaching is about aiming towards something, while therapy isn’t always. But there are some forms of therapy, such as solution-focused therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) that have clear objectives and goals.

One way to know whether to choose coaching or therapy is to identify your goals. If you want to understand your unique path in and out of TMS/PPD (stress based illnesses) and the skills and practices to get to know when and where your stress response is causing symptoms in your life, build a healthier Self relationship, befriend beliefs, emotions and inner conflicts that are under nervous system dysregulation, grow mindful awareness in life, deep psychoeducation to understand your condition, and working towards small growth goalposts or goals then larger ones over time, then therapeutic coaching can be a positive choice. Coaching will hold you accountable in compassionate ways for your choices and will challenge you sometimes as a necessary part of breaking cycles that cause suffering. This is not right for everyone. If you’re looking for longer-term care or/and have a significant adverse history that impacts your daily functioning a great deal and coaching has not helped, then therapy is the right answer. You can absolutely still work with a coach on the specific areas they are trained in, but therapy alongside this can be crucial for safety and well-being.

I can anchor peoples belief in their body and healing until they connect to their own. I am intimately familiar both personally and professionally with the non linear nature of recovery so people are never expected to follow a particular time frame or trajectory of growth. What is needed is an understanding that only you can shape your own neural pathways and that this work is a much more active process than therapy. Your active participation is a prerequisite. This is non negotiable due to how I choose to work from many years of successful practice with these conditions. I will likely have many but not all of your answers or puzzle pieces. I can meet some needs and not others. The truth of all healing is that we are the agents of our own change and transformation. We will have many guides, teachers and supporters along the way for different chapters of our life. This is natural in a lifetime of growth and change.

I am constantly self assessing and if my interventions are not bringing positive impact over time, I will refer clients onwards so I do not waste their money and I get them to the right support that they deserve. I am not right for everybody and I will raise this as soon as possible when this is the case.

It is crucial people are under medical Dr supervision if symptoms are severe. I will not work with anyone with severe pain or symptoms that does not have a supervising licensed medical practitioner. If you fear there is structural cause for pain then this must be assessed for safety and for us to work together.

If clients that are referred to a therapist to provide support alongside our work refuse to do this and use our sessions in place of that, sessions may be stopped. I am not willing to risk either mine or my clients wellbeing by working out of scope.

It takes a biopsychosocialspiritual approach for many of us to heal and I am happy to liaise with other practitioners in order to facilitate a support network. Often coaches will refer clients onwards when they have worked with them to the edge of their own skill set and new areas have been identified together for deeper support within therapy. This is a positive sign of growth for the client, and a coach should help you bridge this transition when possible that by helping find appropriate people.

Coaching is a fantastic way to meet your own inner potential for healing. As someone with cptsd myself who has overcome a lot of adversity and integrated this (on a continuing basis!), I also do not believe any of us are limited by our history. It is not our destiny. Yes it has shaped our mind and body but there is meaning, growth, and transformation within this too. Connecting with our innate ability to self heal and integrate for me is part of being human. Trauma and challenge are a part of life; not apart from life. So I believe in working with it whilst also learning to live in new ways and not making it a sole focus (this is a resilience based approach).

The word trauma itself means injury/wound. Wounds heal. But they cannot if we keep picking the scab like it is wrong. Our symptoms for me are the scab, the sign of self healing underway and of the pain and tension within seeking self compassion and radical acceptance. Learning to respond to these signs differently, without fear or frustration and with self compassion and growing trust is what I believe heals us best. As does reconnecting to nature, play, community, movement, song and laughter, and caring for our unique and dynamic physical body. This is practiced over a lifetime with no end point. I am a huge proponent of finding ways to grow that work for us as individuals. There is no right way or only way.

I do want to be clear that there is a need to be readiness to commit to growth and change in order to do this work. Nothing else is needed in my experience other than that. Everything will unfold in its own time in the right way for each person when they are ready to own their story.

I am grateful for my many years of experience with hundreds of clients that has allowed me to refine how I work to provide the best care possible. I continue to grow and learn for the rest of my life so I can better apply myself and be of service.

This page was written out of a wish to provide greater clarity on the line between coaching and therapy - to ensure people understand what I can and cannot provide so that we can collaborate on getting them the best support and village around them, as each person deeply deserves this. These terms are non negotiable due to prioritising safety and wellbeing of both my clients and myself. Throughout 2024 I will reducing my one to one chronic illness work in order to focus on teaching in the community where people are learning, collaborating, and growing together.

With love

Nadia